For those of you who don't know, I play three characters at once. Yes, I am insane. If you really want to know how, I did another write-up here.

Here's a picture of the three of me...

The tall one in the middle is Viragoiel, the Elf Champion. Obviously with something of that height it's hard to pump blood all the way up to the brain, and so she's quite happy to stand at the front and let everything hit her. In fact, she seems to positively enjoy it, and if they stop hitting her she calls them rude names until they start again.

The embarrasingly mismatched scruff on the left, I'm sorry to say, is my daughter Petula, a Hunter. If you look closely, you can probably see the family resemblance. She likes sharp pointy things, preferably ones that travel very very fast and do lots of damage. As well as her fetish for making anything that moves look like a hedgehog, she also has a handy knack for finding us the fastest path to where we're heading.

And finally, and most importantly!, on the right is me, the famed Minstrel, Callia! I'm the one that keeps their morale up when they can't tell the difference between 'fun' and 'suicide', and think that pulling three Elites at a time is the former. My favourite instrument is the Theorbo, as not only does it soothe the heart of the savage beast, making it less likely to try to eat me, it also makes a most satisfying, and resounding, thwhack when I use it to try to beat sense into the others.

Here's a picture of me playing my Theorbo...

Now that I've introduced myselves, I guess I ought to get down to business, and the purpose of this page. Well, that's quite simple: I like to tell stories of my heroics, helped or hindered as they might be by having multiple personalities given virtual reality in the wonderful land of Middle Earth.

I started off posting my stories on the LOTRO boards, and will continue to do so, but as I started to do more of them I also thought it would be nice to have them collected somewhere central, for ease of access, or avoidance, as people prefer. Some stories are quite long, and have their own page. Some are quite short, and so live further down this page. Hopefully all of them have some small measure of comedy.

Warning: Most of these stories have some spoiler content, as they discuss in-game quests.

The first LOTRO story I wrote was Dear Evil Devs, A Thank You!, which details the fun I had with one particular quest in Evendim.

The next was Events, and How They Unfold, which is also mostly set in Evendim, and begins the morning after the infamous Summer Festival...

Then I decided it was time to explore somewhere else, which is detailed in Uberocity Killed The Elf... Twice!

Despite the minor drawbacks I encountered in exploring The Trollshaws above, I wasn't put off, and pretty soon afterwards Callia and Co Explore Angmar! This is a slightly different style to the above, as it was written at the behest of a friend who wanted me to take some 'action shots' rather than just scenery all the time, and so it is presented more as a travelogue. Be warned that it it also very image intensive. If you're on a slow connection, or have a tight bandwidth limit, it might be wise to skip this one.

Read about my misadventures while trying to get the Dwarves to like me in Oooo, What's In Here?.

After all the above I decided to have a nice peaceful day off, but it seems even those can go wrong. You Only Had To Remember One Thing!

New: I figured after making friends with the Dwarfs, the Elves would be a pushover. How wrong I was! Popularity Isn't Everything!

And that, I'm afraid, is all of the big stories for now. Rest assured (or be horrified!) though that I'm bound to write more, as I like to delude myself that I am a writer, and that people actually enjoy my stories. It's sad how some people are just desperate to be loved, isn't it! 8-)

In the sections below are some of the shorter pieces I thought funny or good or even RP enough to include... Pity me! 8-)